Short a respondent? Grab the maid.

Editor's note: Art Shulman is president of Shulman Research, Van Nuys, Calif.  

Al Roberts was moderating a group of data processing managers and for his first question, he asked them to describe their communications systems. One panelist went on to describe his at great length and in painful detail. After at least 10 minutes of his droning on, with no one else talking, the respondent concluded with, “And that’s it in a nutshell.”

An anonymous owner of a full-service research company (someone I know well) who was having bad times moved into office quarters he was not very proud of. Loose wires hung from the ceiling, holes and gouges were in the walls, the carpet was frayed. Shortly afterward he received a call from a major client he’d never met in person who was anxious to come over and meet him at his office. The owner gave various excuses why this would not be possible but the client could not be dissuaded. Arrangements were made for a visit the next day.

The resourceful owner then went to a home supply store and bought a whole bunch of stuff. And when the client showed up the next day, the entire office – walls, floors, desks – was covered in drop cloths and half the staff was in painter’s overalls. Paint cans abounded.

When the client arrived he was very embarrassed at having intruded in this work, apologized for having done so and left post haste.

Another research company owner (who also prefers anonymity) was about to hold a presentation for his client group in his company’s conference room. His clients were scheduled to arrive at the office momentarily when all of a sudden his ex-wife showed up, drunk and very mad at him for some perceived injustice. She started to rant at him.

So, he did what he had to do. He walked down the corridor opposite the conference room as she followed him, ranting all the while. When he got to almost the end, he opened up a closet, ushered her in and locked the door. He then instructed his staff not to let her out until his clients had left.

When they finally did leave and they opened the door, she was there on the floor, sleeping it off.

Here are some events that actually happened to Jim Nelems of The Marketing Workshop:

  • A focus group recruiter, having to set up the groups in a local motel because there were no group facilities in the market, recruited three maids from the motel as participants when the scheduled respondents did not show up at 6 p.m. Similarly, a field service recruited the express courier to be in the group since he arrived at the time they were short one male for the morning group.
  • The videotape contractor hired to tape a set of focus groups set up the camera in the observation room. He then went into the focus room and sat down because the field service had recruited him as a participant in the group, saying that he was not employed by a research firm since he was an “independent contractor.”