Editor’s note: "War Stories" is a regular feature in which Art Shuhnan, president of Shulman Research, Van Nuys, Calif., presents humorous stories of life in the research trenches.
Mary Ann Farrell of Mattel tells of a focus group she heard about among women who had very recently had babies. Before the session, one of the women walked up to the mirror to apply lipstick. At that instant, as she was attending to her reflection, one of the clients in the viewing room, standing just behind the mirror, lit a match for his cigarette.
The woman suddenly saw, through the mirror, superimposed on her face, the face of a man with a flame in front of it. She fainted dead away and had to be revived.
We know about a fibbing market research analyst for a major corporation (we won’t mention any names) who was contacted over the phone to participate in a focus group. We’re not sure whether he wanted to participate in a group so he could experience the respondent point of view, or if he was merely interested in the incentive money. At any rate, he claimed that he was not in the market research industry. So, a few days later he entered the focus group room and saw the moderator - who happened to be the same outside moderator he usually hired for his projects. The moderator threw him out of the room.
Dave Chill of the Disney Channel was conducting a focus group about cable TV when a woman in the group announced that for five years she had been illegally receiving cable TV. This disturbed some of the clients behind the mirror, senior executives of the very cable company whose service was not being paid for.
Toward the end of the discussion the clients held a brief conference. They decided that it would be inappropriate to confront the woman when the session was over. Instead, according to Chill, she received a telephone call from a cable company representative a few days later, offering her a choice - she could subscribe to cable service or attend another focus group. She decided to pay.
An unnamed automotive market researcher tells about a ride-and-drive car clinic where, while the respondent was driving, the interviewer, a woman in her 40s, suspended her questions to chit-chat with the respondent, explaining that she formerly worked at the Post Office. "One day," the interviewer related, "there I was on the way to work. I had the gun in my car, ready to shoot my supervisor, but I thought, ’Why am I doing this. It’s not worth it.’ So, I became an interviewer."
An unnamed researcher tells about an out-of-town food company client of his who brought some test product in dry ice to the office. Because his client was anxious to get to the entertainment the researcher had planned for the evening, they placed the dry ice in the sink and ran water over it, instead of letting it thaw by itself, and left the office. Not a good idea. Dry ice doesn’t dissolve in water. Instead, it went into the pipes, froze them, and the next morning there was major flooding at the office.
Barry Robertson, who hails from England, reports on his first day in the United States many years ago. He and his wife were in a coffee shop when the waitress came over and said, "Hi! I’m Wendy, and I’m your server."
Not being familiar with some of the niceties in the United States, Robertson bolted up, extended his hand to the waitress, and said in his fine British accent, "A pleasure to meet you, I’m Barry, and this is my wife."
Robertson reports that the shocked waitress retreated to the kitchen, never to return.
Mark Michelson of Michelson & Associates tells about on-site interviews he was conducting in Southern California at a drugstore chain. He was taking his first customer, a woman, around the store so he could ask questions regarding signage when they reached the aisle marked, "Seasonal, Supplies, and Rubber Goods."
While looking at the merchandise in the aisle, she noticed a display of condoms hung on pegs, with each peg containing a green sticker that read, "Earthquake Preparedness Item."
Before you conclude that now we know what’s important to Southern California residents, Michelson reports that the woman felt that both the signage and promotional stickers were inappropriate.