Editor’s note: "War Stories" is a regular feature in which Art Shulman, president of Shulman Research, Van Nuys, Calif., presents humorous stories of life in the research trenches.
Mark Michelson of Michelson & Associates, whose company conducts mystery shops, tells about one holiday season when the company had a shopper whose husband was a part-time Santa. He accompanied her on a shop to a retail establishment and was slow in uniform. His beard and belly were real. As part of the shopping assignment the shopper was supposed to present an objection to the sales clerk. The objection the couple provided was that he didn’t have room to park his sleigh!
Michelson indicates that his firm subsequently reshopped the store, with a more likely objection.
Market research companies are well aware of receiving calls from consumers to sign up for focus group work. Word gets around that they pay $50 for two hours of "just sitting there giving your opinion." Jewel Alderton of Facts Consolidated tells about some of the calls that her firm received inquiring about this type of "work."
One Southern California man called the firm’s Los Angeles office, and after someone took down his demographic information he stated, "I want to do one in New York, and I assume you’ll pay the airfare."
Another man, after being asked his age, said, "I’m an actor. I’ll be any age you want me to be."
Still another man called and said a friend told him he could make $25 an hour for tasting things and giving his opinion. After providing his classification information he wanted to know when he could start, saying, "This is full-time work, right?"
Alderton also tells about a telephone survey her company was conducting about shopping habits, where the quota for respondents over the age of 55 had already been filled. So at this point in the study the screener read, "We’re conducting a short survey about shopping habits and would like to include your opinions. Are you the male/female head of the household and between the ages of 18 and 54?"
The female on the other end of the phone replied, "No, I am 81 years old, but I would like to do your survey."
The interviewer tried to explain about quota sampling, but the woman insisted on being interviewed. Finally, the interviewer referred the matter to the supervisor. When the supervisor got on the line, the consumer asked for all pertinent information about Facts Consolidated and informed the supervisor that their practices were discriminatory. She further informed the supervisor that she would take the necessary steps to report Facts Consolidated to the AARP and the President’s Council on Aging. So far, no one has been arrested, and the President’s Council on Aging has not been heard from.
Sometimes researchers get no respect. In the middle of a focus group that Gary Rudman of Teenage Research Unlimited was once moderating, one of the hostesses came in the room and grabbed a bag of plain M&M’s from a cabinet, left and closed the door. Ten minutes later she returned to grab a bag of peanut M&M’s.
After the session ended, Rudman explained to the hostess that it was unacceptable for her to interrupt focus groups in this way. The hostess stood her ground and told him, "One of my other clients in another back room really wanted M&M’s!"
Ted Dunn, technical consulting director at the Advertising Research Foundation, tells about a packaging study he was involved with years ago, where the results were presented to the top management of a pasta manufacturer. The owner of the company was from "the old world," and he was impressed with how the new packaging performed better in the research than the current packaging, although it was obvious he didn’t quite understand all the technical details underlying the research, such as sampling.
The owner halted the meeting, and right then got on the phone to speak with the person at his company responsible for manufacturing the packaging. When that person offered his opinion about the quality of the current packaging, the owner informed him, "Listen, I got 185 people here who think the new one is better."