The popular War Stories column, which presents humorous tales of life in the research trenches, has historically been compiled by Art Shulman, president of Shulman Research in Van Nuys, Calif. Each month in our e-newsletters we feature anecdotes from past War Stories columns and over time, we have received a handful of submissions from our e-newsletter readers who want to share their own outlandish or otherwise entertaining experiences of research gone just-slightly awry. Submit your own War Story today!
Spelling FacebookÂ
December 26, 2018
Erin Read says she is often torn between cursing and loving open-ended questions. Pros: unfettered truths that amuse and inspire. Cons: 27 different ways of spelling Facebook.
Tartar and plaque
December 10, 2018
During one group among denture wearers, the discussion turned to tartar and plaque. When one man said something moderator Sharon Livingston couldn't understand, he removed is denture, thrust it in her face and asked, "Is this what you're talking about, honey?"
Leading brand
November 26, 2018
Jim Nelems, founder and retired CEO of research firm Marketing Workshop, tells the story of a research trainee who was told to make 10 versions of a phone survey. This was necessary because the leading brand varied by market and each survey was to reference the leading brand in the respondent’s market.
The 600 phone interviews were completed and sent back from the local supervisors. Every questionnaire had the words LEADING BRAND printed on the questionnaire. No one asked about this in the field.
DenialÂ
November 12, 2018
Tara J. Abrams tells a story from when she used to conduct mail studies in the pharmaceutical field where physicians were asked, "In what state do you practice?" Some of the write-in answers were: "Denial," "Confusion," and "Psychosis."
Don't shoot!
October 22, 2018
Alex Palermo from C+R Research tells a story about a routine round of focus group introductions. During the intros, one young woman in her 20s explained that she liked to spend her free time at the shooting range because it was her way of blowing off steam. The middle-aged woman sitting across from her looked startled. Moments later, when asked to provide initial reactions on a campaign, the middle-aged woman began to answer but stopped to allow the 20-something speak first and said, "I agree with whatever she says. Just don't shoot!"Â
Fried chicken
October 8, 2018
Ron Sells tells about working with a focus group facility to recruit a group of church employees. He asked them to fax him the Yellow Pages listings. They faxed the list right away - a complete list of Church's Fried Chicken restaurants.
Bandages for cows
September 24, 2018
Early in Linda Fitzpatrick's career at an advertising agency she  was working on the sanitary protection category. Sales data showed a substantial and unexpected spike in the CDI for certain Western states. It turns out that farmers in the area were using
pads as bandages for cows that had been wounded by barbed wire fencing.
Suspicious box
September 10, 2018
Marie Gilbert tells a story where her team was hand carrying irreplaceable prototype accessories on a flight overseas. One of the research staff placed the box on his seat while he went to the back of the plane to use the restroom. The box of accessories must have looked suspicious, and when the flight attendant asked who the box belonged to, no one was around the claim it. They did not discover the box was missing (and had been destroyed) until they arrived at their destination seven hours later!Â
A dollar bill
August 20, 2018
Ben Pine recalls running into his old friend, Herb, a CPA, at a tailgate party. Herb, appearing to be angry, asked Pine, "What makes you think my time is worth only $12 an hour?" Turns out that, by chance, Herb had been randomly selected to receive a questionnaire mailed out by Pine's company, with a dollar bill enclosed for "five minutes of your time just for filling out this questionnaire and mailing it in." The astute CPA had then mentally computed that there are 12 five-minute periods in an hour, which, when multiplied by $1, came out to $12 per hour.
Not smart enough
August 6, 2018
Marie Gilbert tells a story of a focus group for a new cellular phone accessory where the product development manager in the backroom became visibly agitated that the focus group participants weren't getting the value of his new accessory. So agitated, in fact, that he burst into the focus group room and began to tell the respondents that, in so many words, they weren't smart enough to understand his new invention. Needless to say they wrapped up the session rather quickly.
"I'll call the session!"Â
July 23, 2018
Some time ago, there was a contentious debate about some proposed legislation in Kentucky. The firm Bart Borkosky worked for was hired to conduct a public opinion telephone survey. After a series of questions about the core issue, they asked a question that was worded along the lines of, "Now that you know a bit more about (issue), do you favor calling a special legislative session to resolve this?" One respondent answered without pause: "Heck yes, I'll call the session! What's the number?"
Extremely flatulent dogÂ
July 9, 2018
A client recently asked Doug Schorr, Schorr Creative Solutions, if he had any stories from a week of shop-alongs and in-home ethnographies that were conducted in Dallas. At first the answer was a simple no, just the usual cast of characters. But then his team remembered the extremely flatulent dog (the respondent stated the dog was nervous of the interview), the cat in a dress chasing a wasp on a ledge, a 40's murder house and being sequestered in a retail store while on lock down from a horrible hail storm. Maybe not just the usual after all!
YouTube sensationÂ
June 25, 2018
Jennifer at BJU Press and her team were conducting focus groups in a hotel boardroom. As respondents were entering and finding their places around the table, one woman rushed in. She had been walking quickly to make it on time and was sweating profusely. She sat down, loudly proclaiming how hot, sweaty and thirsty she was. Then she noticed the video camera in the corner. She scooted her chair back quickly and wrapped herself in the boardroom curtains shouting that she didn't want to be a YouTube sensation. Trying to reassure her, Jennifer said, "I'm sure you will be someday, but it won't be because of this focus group."