Q&A with Cecila Dones
Editor’s note: Nancy Cox is the founder/principal at Research Story Consulting, LLC, Kansas City, Mo., with over 30 years of experience in effective writing and research methodologies. She holds a Master of Liberal Arts in business admin and management, and a Bachelor of Science in journalism. Find Cox on LinkedIn.
In this ongoing series with research thought leaders, discover how the research community plays and how that plays out in their work life. In the Venn diagram of work and play, what happens when they overlap?
Cecila Dones, Ph.D., is the founder/chief data officer at 3 Standard Deviations, New York, N.Y. She holds a doctorate in business administration from the Zicklin School of Business at Baruch College, a master’s in statistics from Columbia University and a bachelor's in marketing and international business from NYU Leonard N. Stern School of Business. Dones is a certified yoga instructor with a 200-hour Yoga Certification from Yoga Alliance, and she has completed the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) Connection Recovery Support Group Education Program.
Hello Dr. Cecilia Dones, Founder and Chief Data Officer, 3 Standard Deviations
What is the “play” in your life?
I’ve been reflecting on how I play and the thread through everything I’ve ever done is the human connection. Connection to one person, myself or a community. I was a competitive ballroom dancer, and currently I am a certified yoga teacher and a volunteer group facilitator for NAMI.
Dance has all sorts of points of connection. The ability to attune so closely with another person to physically create a story. It’s a sustained level of attunement we don’t experience much anymore except maybe for jazz musicians in a band.
I started amateur competitive ballroom dancing in high school in northern California. I followed my curiosity when I drove by a ballroom dance studio with the lights, the sparkly clothes and I wondered, “What is that?” Into my twenties, I competed in 10-Dance, the five styles of both International Standard and International Latin. My favorite dance from an emotional, expressive storytelling is International Tango. As a technician, my favorite is Viennese Waltz. Viennese Waltz is distinctive in that there are fewer patterns or distinct movements. When you have many couples on the floor dancing doing the same technical components, it’s very clear to see which couples are the best. This made it very easy for me to understand where I could improve, plus the music is quite beautiful.
Yoga is more about connection to self. I don’t know if I could have finished my statistics graduate program without yoga in my tool kit. You’re in your head so much at the end of a graduate program that, at least for me, I would forget I’m also in a body in real space. Yoga was a beautiful way of reconnecting with the corporeal body, the emotional body and the mental body. Yoga means union.
When I am teaching yoga, I use the word “play” to address the idea in everyone’s head about what a yoga pose is supposed to look like. Those “supposes” put us back in our heads. Play gives permission to say to ourselves, “yes, I am going to fall asleep during shavasana” or “my yoga shapes today look kind of wonky.” Obviously, I don’t want you to tweak your knee, I want good alignment. But embodying that experience of play, that’s so wonderful.
My volunteering for NAMI’s NYC chapter is an expansive part of play because there are many more connections. NAMI is a volunteer-run organization that provides mental health care support, resources and services. Individuals, who may have had labels given to them in their mental health care journey, can come and realize they are more than that label. For the last two-plus years, I was a facilitator for one of their Asian American Pacific Islander groups. Experiencing the joy of supporting, connecting and learning from others.
How has your play influenced your research work?
All my areas of play give me a way to find connections between different ideas, people, practices. The partnership of dance and facilitation of groups have helped me navigate complex professional situations. Practicing reading and responding to the entire room, all the energies. The physical modalities of yoga and dancing have helped me be especially attuned to nonverbal communications. How something is said matters.
Just like in dance partnership, for some individuals their work partner means a lot to them. Many of us have likely experienced the impact of layoffs in our professional circles. I was observing people behaving in ways that deviated from their norm. The bubbly, helpful person suddenly puts their head down to only focus on getting the work done. I’m not a trained psychologist, so I say this with a grain of salt, but there was a quiet unease about having been spared. Their colleague with whom they’d been successful together, had fun together, had been promoted together – just got laid off. They’re wondering if we’re so similar, how was I saved, and this person was not?
So, I’m starting to advocate around my HR colleagues and leadership for support to deal with transitions. For many firms that sounds a little bit too emotional, which leaves a lot of individuals without support. There’s little recognition that in every transition you go through grief, even when going through positive transitions like a promotion. You have to let go of what is no longer real.
What would you tell readers who want to know more about your area of play?
If you’re first starting out in something far outside your comfort zone, give yourself a full three months to try it. Don’t quit too early. In my yoga teaching, I see a lot of people on the verge of almost unlocking something in their yoga practice. But before that unlocking happens they get frustrated. Then they stop. You really need to give yourself that permission to try for a period of time.
Be clear what works for you in how to get through those three months. For some people progress pictures are great. Some individuals film themselves the first day of class, put a post out every single day until Day 90 on their Instagram. For others, this creates too much pressure – they may choose not to measure progress until they are done with this 90-day phase. Whatever approach works for you, that’s a good choice. At the end of three months, you’re going to learn something and have your insight. This works for any exploration, not just yoga. Maybe you thought you loved painting, but you actually love watercolors.
With any hobby, you may feel uncomfortable. You might not be OK with that connection at first. For the last two plus years, I’ve gone back to social dancing focusing on Argentine tango. When I was first exposed to this type of partner dancing in high school, I hated it! Eww, you’re dancing too close, this feels weird, I want space!
Now many, many, many years later I love Argentine tango. In NYC, there is an amazing dance scene along with great teachers such as Victoria Codru. So many dance studios and parties, no matter the style of dance, every night of the week. I’ve also done Argentine tango in other cities around the world. Sometimes when I’m on professional trips, my colleagues will be surprised, “Are you carrying dance shoes in your check-in?” I explain I’m adding a few days for dancing. A wonderful way of connecting with others even if there’s a language or cultural barrier because you share the nonverbal culture of the dance.
I love sharing my tango story because it was something I totally rejected when I was much younger. High-school Cecilia would be shocked! My story shows you cannot anticipate the wonderful journey, twists and turns of a nonlinear life story. I’m a firm believer, not just in play but also in work like my consultancy, that the kind of experiences, conversations, opportunities, play you have – it only takes one “yes” to change the trajectory of your life.
Interested in hearing more from Dr. Cecilia Dones? Find her newsletter, “Authentic Interactions,” exploring how technology shapes human choice and how care, attention and judgment can guide our actions in a connected world, here.